3 Unexpected Ways to Survive Divorce Anxiety (it’s not what you think)
Divorce anxiety can hit at the most unexpected moments.
Maybe you’re lying awake at night replaying conversations with your ex. Maybe the silence in your house suddenly feels unbearable. Or maybe your brain just won’t stop spinning about everything that could go wrong.
If you’re going through divorce, you’re not alone in feeling this way.
In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, host Andrea Rappaport shares three surprisingly simple strategies that helped her survive some of the most overwhelming moments during her own divorce.
They may sound unconventional, but when your nervous system is overloaded, sometimes the smallest tools make the biggest difference.
Why Divorce Anxiety Feels So Intense
Divorce creates a unique combination of emotional stressors:
uncertainty about the future
financial concerns
legal decisions
loneliness and isolation
constant rumination
Your brain is trying to process loss, change, and fear all at the same time.
When that happens, your nervous system can get stuck in a loop of anxiety and overthinking.
The goal in those moments isn’t necessarily to “solve” everything—it’s to interrupt the spiral long enough for your body and mind to reset.
That’s where these unexpected tools come in.
1. Go to Target (Yes, Really)
One of the fastest ways to interrupt a spiral of divorce anxiety is to change your environment.
Walking around a place like Target may seem random, but it works for a few reasons:
your brain gets new visual stimulation
you’re moving your body
you’re around other people
When your mind is stuck replaying the same thoughts over and over, simply being in a new environment can help break the pattern.
You don’t even have to buy anything. Just walking through the store and letting your mind focus on something else can calm your nervous system.
2. Don’t Sit in Silence
One of the hardest parts of divorce—especially early on—is the sudden quiet.
The house feels different. The background noise of another person being there disappears. And silence can make anxious thoughts feel even louder.
That’s why using something like Alexa or a smart speaker can help.
Play:
music
podcasts
random trivia questions
background noise
Even simple interaction with sound can make your space feel less empty and help your brain shift out of anxious rumination.
3. Embrace the Distraction
Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do during divorce is give your brain a break.
Scrolling TikTok, watching a random show, or falling down an internet rabbit hole may not sound like traditional self-care—but distraction can be incredibly helpful when anxiety takes over.
When your brain is stuck in a loop of “what if” thinking, a temporary distraction can interrupt that cycle long enough for your emotions to settle.
The goal isn’t avoidance forever.
It’s giving your mind space to breathe.
Bonus Tip: Sit at a Bar (Even If You Don’t Drink)
Another unexpected coping strategy during divorce is simply being around other people.
Sitting at a bar—even with a soda or coffee—can create a sense of connection when loneliness feels overwhelming.
Bars are one of the few places where casual conversation with strangers still happens.
A quick chat with a bartender or overhearing conversations around you can remind you that the world is still moving—and that you’re not as alone as divorce sometimes makes you feel.
Divorce Survival Isn’t About Doing Everything Perfectly
When you’re going through divorce, there will be days when you feel strong and productive.
And there will be days when your only goal is getting through the next hour.
Both are normal.
Sometimes surviving divorce isn’t about meditation, journaling, or doing everything “right.”
Sometimes it’s about:
getting out of the house
filling the silence
giving your brain a break
Small actions can help you ride out the hardest emotional waves.
Remember This
Divorce anxiety is temporary.
It may not feel like it in the moment, but this chapter of your life will eventually pass.
And every small thing you do to take care of yourself—no matter how simple it seems—is helping you move forward.