Is Your Divorce Attorney Making Your Case More Expensive?
If the other side in your divorce is telling you that your lawyer “isn’t doing their job,” it can send you into a spiral fast.
You start questioning everything:
Are they right?
Did I hire the wrong attorney?
Is this why my divorce feels stuck?
Before you panic, there’s something you need to understand.
A lot of the time, this has nothing to do with your lawyer’s performance.
It has everything to do with strategy.
If you want to listen to our episode on this topic- here here!
Why the Other Side Blames Your Lawyer
One of the most common tactics in divorce is creating doubt. If the other side can get you to question your own attorney, they gain leverage immediately.
When you feel uncertain, you are more likely to:
push your lawyer to respond faster
agree to things you don’t fully understand
make emotional decisions instead of strategic ones
And that’s exactly what they want.
When This Usually Happens
1. When They’re Backed Into a Corner
If the other side doesn’t like their options, they need to create movement.
Instead of saying, “We don’t like this deal,” they say:
“Your lawyer is the problem.”
It shifts the pressure off of them and onto you.
2. When They Want Leverage
If they can make you feel urgency or doubt, they change the dynamic of the case.
Now you’re going to your lawyer asking:
“Why haven’t we responded?”
“Should we just agree to this?”
That pressure benefits them.
3. Around Mediation or Settlement Proposals
This is one of the most common times this comes up.
A proposal is made. The other side doesn’t like it.
Suddenly:
your lawyer is “difficult”
your lawyer is “unresponsive”
your lawyer is “holding things up”
In reality, they just don’t like what was proposed.
4. When They’re Feeling Pressure
Whether it’s financial, legal, or time-related pressure, people react.
And one of the easiest ways to relieve that pressure is to blame your lawyer.
But Sometimes… It Is Your Lawyer
We have to say this part clearly.
Sometimes, there actually is a problem.
Here’s how you know the difference.
Real Signs Your Divorce Lawyer Might Be the Problem
They’re Not Responding in a Reasonable Time
We’re not talking about a few hours.
We’re talking about:
days without responses
repeated follow-ups
lack of communication overall
They’re Missing Deadlines
Deadlines matter in divorce.
If your lawyer is missing them consistently, that’s not strategy. That’s an issue.
The Other Side Is Calling Out Real Deficiencies
If opposing counsel is repeatedly pointing out:
missing documents
incomplete responses
clear errors
And there’s truth to it, that needs to be addressed.
How to Handle This Without Losing Your Mind
1. Don’t React Emotionally
Divorce is emotional, but your decisions can’t be.
2. Ask Your Lawyer Direct Questions
Instead of assuming something is wrong, ask:
Where are we in the process?
What are we waiting on?
Is there anything outstanding on our side?
Stick to facts, not feelings.
3. Look for Patterns, Not One-Off Comments
One comment from the other side means nothing.
A consistent issue is something to evaluate.
The Bottom Line
Just because the other side says your lawyer is the problem doesn’t make it true.
In fact, sometimes it means the opposite.
It can mean your lawyer is doing exactly what they’re supposed to be doing—and the other side is feeling it.
Stay grounded. Stay informed. Focus on the facts.
Because the fastest way to waste money in your divorce is to react instead of think.
👉 Want to feel more confident and stop second-guessing everything?
Get the Divorce Crash Course:
https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course